There is no monotony in peace. For months my mother-in-law and I have been living fairly harmoniously, even though I am no longer working full-time and out of the house most of the day. We have adapted a routine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We each have our own tasks during the morning, afternoon, and evening. Our schedules overlap whenever she has a social gathering or healthcare appointment. Whenever we are eager to chat, doors are open and we find ourselves in the common areas of the kitchen, family room, dining room. or deck. Whenever we need our privacy, our separate rooms are our refuge, even more so now that our rooms are no longer directly across the hall from the other.
We have had our share of clashes and struggles, all emotionally draining. On bad days, suspicion and remembrance of past grievances may hover in the air, but overall we are able to forge on in peace. Journaling is one critical way I have been able to survive, so to speak. In my next few blogs, I would like to address other methods that have allowed me to continue living, somewhat unconventionally in this society, with my mother-in-law.
Monday, May 16, 2011
A Blessing
While shopping at a grocery store the other day, I happened to stand in line with a parent of a former student of mine years ago. I didn't recognize her at first. Her eyes were dry looking, with dark lines below. Her outfit was unusually casual, a little unbalanced. She had always struck me as a sophisticated dresser, complete with fine skin, cosmetics, and a stylish hairdo. She looked, for the first time, to me anyway, humble, and tired.
As our conversation continued, I asked her if she was feeling okay. I knew that she was a professional and lived the hectic life of dropping off the kids to school and going to work, not lulling around the grocery store like I was to dissipate the morning energy of a toddler. She had revealed to me that her in-laws recently moved in with them, and that she was feeling exhausted caring for them.
It was her first time to have to care for a sick, elderly person. The doctor visits, the pharmacy trips, the additional groceries and chores around the house had made this woman completely worn out. She did not know how long they would be staying and for now she was just trying to survive. As we spoke, I could feel her exhaustion, the physical and mental endurance she required to please, entertain, and care for her husband's parents.
Despite all of the distress, she mentioned that it was a "blessing" that they were here. I have recognized the blessing of having a parent live in our own home, despite the work, physical and mental, required to maintain the tranquility. Speaking with her made me realize another blessing -- our health, and especially my mother-in-law's health. At seventy-nine years of age, she is still medication-, wheel-chair-, and surgery- free. We have it so easy compared to this woman and I need to continue to thank God for what we have.
As our conversation continued, I asked her if she was feeling okay. I knew that she was a professional and lived the hectic life of dropping off the kids to school and going to work, not lulling around the grocery store like I was to dissipate the morning energy of a toddler. She had revealed to me that her in-laws recently moved in with them, and that she was feeling exhausted caring for them.
It was her first time to have to care for a sick, elderly person. The doctor visits, the pharmacy trips, the additional groceries and chores around the house had made this woman completely worn out. She did not know how long they would be staying and for now she was just trying to survive. As we spoke, I could feel her exhaustion, the physical and mental endurance she required to please, entertain, and care for her husband's parents.
Despite all of the distress, she mentioned that it was a "blessing" that they were here. I have recognized the blessing of having a parent live in our own home, despite the work, physical and mental, required to maintain the tranquility. Speaking with her made me realize another blessing -- our health, and especially my mother-in-law's health. At seventy-nine years of age, she is still medication-, wheel-chair-, and surgery- free. We have it so easy compared to this woman and I need to continue to thank God for what we have.
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