Monday, July 30, 2012

Recalling the First Day


     As the seventh anniversary of my mother-in-law’s arrival approaches, I am trying to recall the many preparations made for that day, as well as the event itself.  My husband had traveled a great distance to retrieve her.  Because of her health, the distance for her felt even greater.  At that time, her knees were not in the best condition, so the demands of airport hustle and the long car ride from New York wore her out physically. 
     My children and I waited in the living room with great anticipation.  Thoughts of anxiety and optimism reverberated through me. Extra groceries were purchased. A nice welcome meal was prepared.  Furniture in my daughter’s bedroom, where they were to share a room, was rearranged.  Toiletries and a new laundry bag were set aside.  The house was clean and we were in full hospitality mode.
     Finally seeing her once again after years since her last visit filled me with relief and happiness.  The years had taken a toll on her.  She stood at the bottom of the front entrance staircase, assessing the climb, and taking each step slowly, determined.  She knew she was coming to her new home.  We knew she was adding to our home, our family.  As her distance inched closer to us, we realized the great importance of the reunion.  Indeed, it was life-changing and continues to be.
     My husband told me that during the car ride she had put on some lipstick and asked him how her appearance was.  She wanted to be well-dressed upon meeting her grandchildren, one of them for the first time.  Just as we wanted everything in the house ready for her, she, too, wanted to be prepared for the momentous moment.
     Of course, nothing could have prepared us for the total transition.  Medical issues, emotional and psychological needs, religious, cultural, linguistic, and personality differences that had never really been addressed soon surfaced.  That unforeseen deluge tested the initial longing and desires of both parties—to live happily together in the same home.